Saturday, 18 February 2012
Been a while, hasn't it? Anything happened?
Well, yes, loads, obviously. There was that ridiculous see-saw game with City, the bore draw with Liverpool, Redknapp told the world he couldn't read or write, but was cleared of swerving tax payments, Capello quit, Harry was suddenly in the frame rather than being framed, and we knocked seven shades of hype out of Newcastle.
But forget all that. Let's look forward. Forward to the end of the world. Because that's what it will be if we lose to Stevenage on Sunday. Cupocalypse.
I know we're having a rather jolly time in the league, but defeat on Sunday would bring everything tumbling around our ears (including mountains and suchlike). Surely it's not just me that can sense the portents of doom? You see the vultures, right? The boiling seas? The angry skies? Tomorrow is Hell in a New Town. Or, as they call it in Stevenage, Sunday.
So, whilst we're talking FA Cup and looking on the bright side, I thought I'd share a shameful list of teams that have been finalists since we last made it in 1991:
Liverpool (three times)
Arsenal (six times)
Man Utd (seven times)
Chelsea (seven times)
Rubbish, isn't it?
Here's another equally appalling list:
Those were our opponents in five consecutive losing semi finals. Surely no other club in history has lost five semi finals in a row?
Still, it won't matter tomorrow, when the world ends.